Stop the habit of being yourself

A coaching client came to me a few months ago sharing her problems of time management and asked for my tips and help.

From the outside, she looks like she has it all, a supporting husband, beautiful smart kids and a house . But deep inside she was not happy.

I gave her some homework i.e. clarity questions to really understand her “problems”, because I know, all of our life problems are the symptom of something that run deeper below..

They could be limiting beliefs, fear, insecurities, lack of self trust….

She got back to me and I started to realize the common pattern from her answers, which can be grouped into 3 main buckets (structuring- one of my consulting skill toolkit has become very handy in this case)

We started to work together where I help her unearth so many limiting beliefs that she was not even aware that she had. She has been her biggest obstacles for her to reach her dream and goals .

She is her biggest critic.

Most of the time, we have to endure the situation that we are stuck in because something inside us – the subconscious part- thinks that we deserve it. Maybe because we are so used to being reactive, because we are so used to the label of “perfectionism”, or “introvert”, we don’t think we can change.

Let me tell you, from my hard experience, the not so good news first, yes we cannot change other people. We cannot change our bosses, our partners.

But we can change our attitude, our energy, our thought pattern and beliefs in ourselves.

If you accept yourself, don’t beat yourself hard once you make a mistake or someone disapprove of you, if you love yourself regardless, you will  start to notice the change in your energy and your outlook of life.

It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed

It’s my all-time favorite mantra from Louise Hay.

It empowers me , letting me know that I am not a victim of a situation, I have the power to change.

A change in thoughts would lead to change in external situation

Be-> Feel-> Act, that is the right sequence.  

You can stop the habit of being yourself and change anytime. Our brain has an amazing power of growing and restructuring itself. Science calls it neuroplasticity.

Back to my story earlier, just a few weeks in, she has been able to change her mindset, see herself in a positive light and determined to work towards her goals. She is radiating, unlike the person who often cried before..

When she told me that, I had a goosebump. It feels so rewarding to see the positive impacts you have on others. Whatever I work and shared with her, they are all the techniques and work I used on myself . I know they work.

Only if the person is ready and willing to change.

If you are stuck in a boring job, if you want to immigrate to other countries but been delaying as you don’t know where to start, if you feel calling to quit your job to follow your passion, if you are unclear of your purpose…

You know the best day to change is today.

Comment or DM me with “I want to change”, we can have a complimentary call to see if I can help you to be reach your goals, or just untangle your beliefs about yourself.

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